When I was about 15 I read a blog titled, A Letter To Every Young Girl | If He Won't, Someone Else Will by Brooke Putney. This blog/article was written by a teenage girl basically saying not to settle in a relationship and to only date to marry. I have had the same printed out copy in my room for three years and counting as a reminder to myself to never settle no matter what. I read this article about once a week considering it is hung up in my closet (I use my closet as my prayer room). So I am constantly being reminded of this subject that is settling.
Almost weekly, I tell my 7th grade girls in small group to guard their heart and to never settle. Even though I am telling them that, it is also a great reminder to myself.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23
I see so many young men and women settling in a relationship thinking that attention from a relationship will satisfy them. I am so guilty of this as well, I had dreamed of the day I would have my first boyfriend, a fiancé, a future wedding, and normal stuff most girls think about. I have always been told not to settle, but what does that mean exactly?
To settle is to be in a relationship because you do not think there is anyone else. To settle is having consant excuses or justifying your significant other. To settle is dating a boy that goes to church instead of a man of God or dating a church girl instead of a proverbs 31 woman. To settle is dating someone just to date instead of letting a man be intentional about pursuing you. To settle is giving up qualifications in someone just because you want to be fulfilled and wanted. Maybe you are scared you won't find somebody else, I think everyone has that fear to a certain extent. In the Bible it says God gives us the desires of our heart, with that being said not everyone is called to marriage. But if you desire marriage, I believe God has someone for you to eventually become one with when you follow the will of God.
delight yourself in the Lord, and
He will give you the desires of
your heart.
Psalm 37:4
It breaks my heart seeing people settling in relationships. A relationship should never substitute your relationship with God but it should strengthen your relationship with God. You need a solid relationship with Jesus before getting into a relationship. You need to know what God says about relationships so you do not believe the enemy. The enemy in todays society is many things such as, Hollywood, magazines, and the constant message that love and relationships with satisfy you. FALSE. The only relationship that will never fail you is Jesus. God is the definition of love. God created marriage as a symbol of his love for us, it is a gift from Him. So why would you settle? Wait. Be patient. Don't look for a relationship because you are lonely, or because you just want to feel wanted. The answer you are looking for is simple, Jesus.
"a girl should be so deep in Christ, that a boy should have to seek Him to find her."
I love, love. Seriously, I am a sucker for Romantic movies and anything Nicholas Sparks. I am such a girl when it comes to weddings and engagements. My Pinterest is flooded with wedding dresses and flowers. This is a representation of the love we need to have for Jesus. I want my life to be centered around His name, but I constantly fail because I fall short and sin. Maybe you have regrets in past relationships or even a current one, but God makes all things new! His mercies remain, and we are so undeserving of his grace. You should never settle because God would never want you to. God wants the best for you, and Gods best would never want you to settle for less.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the relationship between Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was a widow but she was so joyful and obedient in Christ. She was selfless and faithful. She truly is the definition of a proverbs 31 woman. Ruth showed reckless abandonment to God. She was a woman of noble character and a woman filled with kindness. Boaz is a man of God with extreme integrity and faithfulness. He was a spiritual leader, which men are called to be. They were both so focused on Christ they were drawn to each other. Boaz pursued her because he was so attracted by her heart for the Lord.
Wait on the Lord. Be patient. And do not ever settle.
- Emily joy
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